You might be incredibly frustrated if your elderly family member doesn’t want help from you or from other people. This is even more upsetting in situations where you know your senior is making her own life far more difficult than it has to be. There are a few things you can still do when you’re trying to get her to see your point of view.
Be as Patient as Possible
Patience is going to help you and your senior more than you realize. The truth is that she’s not making this decision just to be difficult. There are other factors behind her decisions and being impatient isn’t going to resolve those. If you lose your temper and push too hard, that’s more likely to just cause her to clam up and avoid talking to you.
Find out What’s Really Going On
If it’s possible at all, you need to figure out what the root cause of this refusal is. Talk to your senior about your side of things, but make sure you’re listening, too. Ask open ended questions that allow your elderly family member to elaborate on how she’s feeling and what she sees as the most important issues. If you’re listening openly, that’s going to help to build trust.
Talk about Her Options
Discuss a variety of options with your senior. Is she refusing help from just home care services providers, or is she against help from you, too? Talk with her about different possibilities, like having home care services providers coming in only in certain situations. If she will accept help at specific times, but not under other conditions, that’s progress.
Try to Resolve What You Can
What’s really important is that you’re solving the problems that you can solve for her. If she’s willing to renegotiate after you’ve given your first compromise a chance, that’s a good sign. Some aging adults don’t want to be a burden and that can cause them to turn down assistance that they do know they need. Give your senior a chance to come around.
It’s vital that you don’t just close the door on these conversations if your senior keeps telling you no. You ultimately do have to respect her wishes, but just because she said no today that doesn’t mean that the answer is always going to be no. She can definitely change her mind, especially if she’s been under a misconception about what having help means for her.